New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
