On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
