Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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