I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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