If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
