covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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