Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
