# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
