Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
