What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
false alarm, still single
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
