i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize