Dude my mom stole all your condoms
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
