dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
