Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
