Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
