Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
no, he came in my armpit
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
