Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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