omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
