if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
