i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize