I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
