i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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