Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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