the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
