need another drink. this is the easiest way
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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