if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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