There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
