But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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