I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
