where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have post one night stand depression
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
