there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
