Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
