the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
try to milk me bitch
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