i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
