when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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