It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
