What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
