apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
