He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
