i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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