If that was your dad, he is hot
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
