I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
