why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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