Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
