Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
