No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
