i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
