that's an acceptable place to lick
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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