Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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