Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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