i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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