Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
