he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
