he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
