is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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