He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
