I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
