just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
