i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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