He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
