exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
