I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
