I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
