Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize