lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
