I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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