The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
