Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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