only if we run a train.
done.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
